a routine day in vovinhood.....ibar....

A (could be) rap song: (right from the start to end of the day at iBar)

DHADAAMM DHADAAM, setu, DHADAAMM DHADAAM
Damn subeh ho gayi, Amma jo aa gayi
Bebo bebo be bebo bebo be

Sab uth gaye par har koi hai bed pe leta hua.
Sab ne li masti, bole Amma 'Chana Idiya'
Amma ne reply mein bola (making the Thumbs Up sign and pointing towards her shoulder) 'Paisa'
Bebo bebo be bebo bebo be

Bajpai bathroom ko gaya
JayZ ne cell utha liya
Main waapas so gaya
Par damn! Paul saamne dikh gaya
Aur Amma ko 50 bucks mil gaya
Bebo bebo be bebo bebo be

Phir sabne Amma ko TATA kiya
Aur har koi apne tima-anukool office ko gaya
Din bhar maraya aur shaam ko ghar waapas aaya
Shaam mein: 'Koi doodh le aao', Jayz ka order aaya
Arre pehle Egg Puff to kha lo, Bajpai ka offer aaya
'Bachcha sutta le aao', mera nas phir se pela gaya
Sumit abhi bhi apne pappu se khelta hua paya gaya
Bebo bebo be bebo bebo be

Is time Paul nahate hue aur cream lagate hue paya gaya
Baahar aaya to distorted electric guitar jaisa ek aawaaz aaya
'What's the plan?', Paul ke dwara ek bahaut bada aur kathin sawaal uthaya gaya
Sabne Paul ka motive bhaanp liya
Sabke dwara apne-apne wallet mein jhaanka gaya
Phir sabne aam-sahmati se TV 'On' karne ka mann banaya
Sumit abhi bhi apne pappu se khelta hua paya gaya
Bebo bebo be bebo bebo be

Paul ko samajh mein aa gaya ki use hai kata diya gaya
Tab ek bahaut bada aur sudden bhoochaal aaya
Bajpai ka dhyaan uske laptop bag ki taraf gaya
Mere aur JayZ ko jaise saanp soongh gaya
Yeh soch ke pareshaan ki ab hoga kya
Sumit abhi bhi apne pappu se khelta hua paya gaya
Bebo bebo be bebo bebo be

Bajpai ne (as usual) apne photos dikhana shuru kiya
Aur baaki sabne ne TV ki taraf dekhna chaalu kiya
Lekin Bajpai to leher hai, rukta nahin. Usne photo dikhana chaalu rakha
JayZ phone le ke apne room ko gaya
Main sutta lene ke bahaane baahar ko gaya
Paul VH1 ko dekhta gaya aur Bajpai ignore hota gaya
Sumit abhi bhi apne pappu se khelta hua paya gaya
Bebo bebo be bebo bebo be

Tabhi Bajpai ne ek aawaaz lagai
Jayz! Bachcha! Dekh office mein maal nayi aayi
Sab bhaage aur Bajpai ke laptop ke liye hone lagi ladai
Har cheez bik sakti hai, Bajpai ne daam sahi lagai
Bebo bebo be bebo bebo be

Tabhi hamaare samne cook aa tapka
Humne bola bhaiya, dukaan se le lo aloo aur lauka
Phir aayi botalein, gilaas, ice cubes and chakhna
Mil ke chadhai sabne aur shuru hua bakwaas bakna
Bebo bebo be bebo bebo be

Sab kab so gaye kisi ko nahin pata chala
Lekin sabke muh se ek hi sentence nikla
Bhagwaan jisne bhi daaru banai, uska ho bhalaa
Bhagwaan kuch help karo, yeh dil to hai manchalaa
Sote hue Sumit ki aawaaz aayi - Bajpai nahaya kar saala
Bebo bebo be bebo bebo be

Phir aankh tab khuli jab phir wohi madbhari aawaaz aayi
DHADAAMM DHADAAM, setu, DHADAAMM DHADAAM


Maana this is not upto the standards I have set in this muzaira. But I had no choice.



Gypsy. They call me 'Gypsy', soda with whiskey.

kalaam ka salaammmmm....

Arj hai…
Mera tujh pe kuch karz hai ..
Daaad chahege…

.. Us per ham V-Tex lotion va mallham lagana chahenge

Ghunghat (veil) me tujhe dekha to deewana hua………

……. Beghani shadi me nagraj(mamba) dewana hua

Sangeet ka tarana hua……

…. Iske dwara hamare dimaag o sadana hua

Shama ka parwaana hua……

… Mannu kisi tarah ofc ko rawana hua

Masti ka mastana hua……

……. Cricket ki pehli hi ball pe iska sustana hua

Aur jaise hi ghunghat ko utaya….

. Dulhan ne apne samne sanp(mamba) ko paya

Dil tham ke padhana aage kii liyana…

. Sanp(mamba) ka zeher zehen me uter jayena

Aur jaise hi ghunghat ko utaya…

.. Aur jaise hi dulhan ne apne samne sanp(mamba) ko paya

Is duniya se ravena (chal base) hua……

… Bhag sala ye bhi koi kahani ka khatam ho jana hua

Jai hind………

Azadi hamari chahat hai...

..Sarfaroshi ke ghunghat me swtantrata hamari dulhan....

...Ghungta utha raha hamara kal hai.........

...Abe sahi shayari ban gayi bhai.

Angrezon bharat choro.......

...But sare BRANDS yahin choro>>>>> Warna Ball ki shopping kaise hogi.

vidrohi ka ek aur kalamm,,,,

Arj hai…
Daaad chahege…..

Ghunghat (veil) me tujhe dekha to deewana hua………

……. Sangeet ka tarana hua……

…. Shama ka parwaana hua……

… Masti ka mastana hua………….

Aur jaise hi ghunghat ko utaya…

.. Dil tham ke padhana aage kii liyana….

Aur jaise hi ghunghat ko utaya…..

Is duniya se ravena (chal base) hua………

Jai hind………

request,,,,,

Buchha sux big time…
…are koi is choti chuuriii kii…dhaarrr kam karo…

… Ghusa ja raha hai……

. Bachha is talking like hipp hopper

…. Jaz is an impulsive shopper…

. Bajpai want to be among the toppers….

Boll kii chahat hai chopper…

. Lallau kii zindagi nahi hai abhi proper…

. Bachha u sux all the time don’t be cut cropper…

I am stiil bakait not a tame husband dropper…

Gowda puts all his dow in the locker…

.. Dj is hit daddy not a flopper…

. Jaz ANZ me kaam na karte per khelte soccor…

Bolls favtir game in not polo..but its poker…

Zindagi ne dii hum sabko ek zabardast thokar…

Nuidaaaaaah muzaire me aaya abhi so kar…

.. Amma humaari hai bebo nahi hai noukar…

.. Maine paya hai apni zindagi..per dosto ko kho kar…

..mind ith…

. Dosto maza nahi akele ..ek baar dekho 2 hokar…

CHHORI KII KARNA PAAP HAI……NADI KINAARE SAAANP (MAMBA BLACK)…HAI…………
…. Mast us loundiya kii tap hai…

… Aab police bhi police nahi balki COP hai…

. Abe aab jana……

..aab sulayega kya……

bachha is back...

Har aas mein sitaare nahin hote
Har samandar mein kinare nahin hote
Har nazar mein ishaare nahin hote
Har bahaar mein nazaare nahin hote
Har park mein fawwaare nahin hote
Har jaam mein paimaane nahin hote
Har haseena ke deewane nahin hote
Har gamm ke fasaane nahin hote
Har mahatma sant nahin hota
Har mail chain ka ant (end) nahin hota
Ped (tree) par lagein hain aam ja kar tod lo
Agar kuch reh gaya to khud jod lo
Gusse mien muh mat fulao
Mentos khao dimaag ki batti jalao



Gypsy. They call me 'Gypsy', soda with whiskey.

sannate ko cheerta huaaaa.....

Are ye kya bhai yahan to ikdam sookha pada hai......

......ab lo khushiyon ka fawwara.

Ye bhi ikdam dil se nikli hai...

..dil khush ho to use reply me bayan kijiyega.

Mannu bakait apane haathon se yun chehare ko chhupaate kyon ho

Mujhse sharmaate ho to saamane aate kyon ho.

Abhi(Mamu) kabhii meri tarah kar bhi lo iqaraar-e-vafaa Pyaar karate ho

to phir scrapbook me pyaar chhupaate kyon ho

Lalhaun, aankhon me merii dekh ke rote kyon ho

Dil bhar aataa hai to phir manager ko sunaate kyon ho

Baccha ke A/C se vaabastaa hai jab meraa muqaddar

Phir tum mere se apni cheque book chupate kyon ho

Jz mar mar ke mujhe kapre lane ko kahate kyon ho

T-Shirt laake dikhate ho to phir lauta ke le jaate kyon ho.

.DJ teri judai bhi hamein pyar karti hai

Teri yaad bahot bekrar karti hai

Vo test match jo tere sath guzare the

Talash unko nazar bar bar karti.

Ball woh shaks hai jo Ibar mw naye paimane laaya.

Roz paise udane ke nitt naye urban bahaaney laayaa.

Ek last line likh rahe hain........

.Aap ke chehre pe raining eyes chahenge........

...... Jiss Ke Pyaar Mein Jaley Har Pal Shama Ki Tarha.......

..............Sala Us Laltain Ka Hi Tel Khatam Hone Ayaa.

Ashish Kanpuriya(From Cownpore).

vidrohi ka kalaam 2

Arj hai…

. Assalaam val e kum……

.. Aaj ki nahi ye to puraani dastaan hai…

… Kahna kuch aur samajhna kuch to bahut aasan hai…

Per jo maqbool na samjhe gahraaiya baato kii…

. Vo maqbool …..haivaan nahi …farista ka.. sammaaan…hai…

. … Wah wah…

.. Kya yaar samjhte nahi baat ko…

……..aa jate ho raat ko…

…aaj kal night shift hai kya dihaadi..kii.

.hehehehe…..

vidrohi ka kalaam..1

Arj hai…
. Irrsaad…
Kissi kii kori dhamkiyo se darna humari aadat nahi hai…

. Apne liye hi marna koi…shahadat nahi hai…

.. Toofan to aaate jaatye rahte hai……

Bachha… daad chahege…

…. Ye to choti churri hai …

koi qayamat nahi hai…..

Wah wah……

Sumit vidrohi kaa…

…vovinhood ke maqboolo ko salaam……

JAWAAB...

Aisa. Aaj mere oopar seedha dhawa bol diya hai Sumit ne.
Ab shuru ho chuki hai war. Ab aayegi qayamat.
Sab kuch nasht ho jayega, bachega to sirf iBar.
Is Vovinhood mein aaj tak khunnas ki ek boond nahin aayi, ab katleaam hoga.
Bhai, beta, beti, maa, behen, baap, dada kisi ko bhi kuch nahin bola jayega.
Sirf personal attacks honge.
Ab Sumit ka pappu bacha sakta hai to bacha le Sumit ko.
Bamulaija hoshiyaar. Aa rahein hain 'Jalaluddin Vishal',
jo ab Sumit ko Jodha bana ke rahenge.
Kal mere mail ka intezaar karo doston.
Kal calamity aayegi tumhare mailbox mein.
Abhi ke liye alvida par yeh toofan se pehle ki
shanti hai, abe shanti bole to silence, ladki nahin.
Hile.

Bachha special...

Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

Jo dehaadi me kaam kar raha hai….

Din me kaam karne ke baad bhi night out maar raha hai…

Chota sa hai per baal apne se lambe badha raha hai…

. Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

Jo bike me humesha 20 INR ka petol bhara raha hai…

Office se aate waqt beer kii botele la raha hai….

Jo sabka financer bana ja raha hai…..

Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

Jo apne baalo ko straight kara raha hai…

. Per fir bhi baal fir se curly ho ja raha hai….

Baal ko seedhe karvaane VLCC me ja raha hai…

Paise pe paise….^&^*&^* raha hai…

. Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai…

.. Friday raat ko apni choti churri jaise jabaan chala raha hai…

Jo peene ke baad tumbaa sethu se ladaa ja raha hai…

Apne size ka khayall kiye bina pila ja raha hai…

Tendulkar ko apna baccha bana raha hai…

. Baat baat me apne attitude ka thobda dikha raha hai…

. Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

Jeans me interview dene ja raha hai…

. Her weekend motive aur kwest se call paa raha hai…

Interviewr ke saamne apni pant (jeans) utarava raha hai

… Interview hone ke baad… banta hai …banta hai ..chilla raha hai…

Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

Apni salary ka 80 % flight me uda raha hai…

Software labor se travel agent hota ja raha hai.

. Bhai kee shaadi me apne ko eligible bachelor kahlava raha hai

… Per size se thoda maatt kha raha hai…

Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

US me bhi baby face kahlava raha hai…

Suttee ke liye janam se bhokkha ja raha hai…


Raat ke liye suttee ka backup chupa raha hai…

Per dosto ka dost bana jar aha hai…

Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

Fockat me companiyo ko attitude dikha raha hai.

. Nuidaah jaane ke liye saat saal se mara ja raha hai…

Companiyo se pal ke laat kha raha hai…

. Per ke…ya cari….ko na chhod pa raha hai…

CAT ko chhod ke GMAT me apna samay gava raha hai

Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

Jab dekho minaaardi minaardi chilla raha hai…

. Gasoline gaane pe mara ja raha hai…

Awara paagal deewana aur jani dusman kii CD la raha hai….

Chikan kii vaat laga raha hai…

Chikan ke saamne eeuu eeeuuu chilla raha hai…

Apne se jyada wate ka chikan kha raha hai…

Nandini vaalo ko..akele hi rula raha hai….

Sunil sheetyy ka dialogue jhila raha hai….

At last alla boleleo..chilla raha hai…

Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

.. Puppy puppy they call him puppy… … choti chuurrrii with jhappi…. Always be the same……….. ….u sux man..big time…

.look at u…u Brown…&*&^&*(&*(…..

Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai
Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

Har chhoti chhoti baat pe jo hans raha hai
Dil mein ladki ke gam liye jee raha hai
Raat raat bhar kaam kar ke jo aa raha hai
Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

Promotion ho ya demotion, beer ke botalein khol raha hai
Kabhi Fosters to kabhi breezer hi pee raha hai
Hard drink ki baat karo to after effects ke darr se saham raha hai
Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

Friday night party mein ek Tendulkar ko defend kar raha hai
To doosra Ponting ko mahanatam batsman bata raha hai
Indoor cricket mein jo Bajpai ki har ball pe bowled ho raha hai
Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

Saturday morning ko ek phone ring se uth raha hai
To doosra chai air breakfast ka bandobast kar raha hai
Teesre ki aankhein nahin khuli par dhaunk raha hai
Chautha uthte hi TV dekhte hue apne pappu se khel raha hai
Panchwa message kar raha hai aur party ka plan bana raha hai
Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

Shaam ko baithe hue ek banda sabka mazaak uda raha hai
I.T. waalon ko dihaadi (daily wages) pe kaam karne wala bata raha hai
To Automation waale ko factory wala bata raha hai
Aur jab usse poocho ki aaj ka din kaisa raha?
To aaj phir apne boss se lad-ke aa raha hai
Current naukri chhode ki jo khokhli dhamki de raha hai
Kyunki woh shaadi ke responsibility ke bojh tale daba ja raha hai
Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

Weekend party ke liye jo wednesday se appointment de raha hai
Stocks mein jo hazaaron haare ja raha hai
Naye jeans khareed ke jo Bajpai aur Sumit ko baant raha hai
Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

Chai ke waqt biscuit na hone par jo bhadak raha hai
Bike ke gears kharaab hone ke bawjood usko theek nahin kara raha hai
Weekdays pe suddenly kabhi bhi pee ke tunn hoke ghar aa raha hai
Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

Ghar mein ghee aur makhan laane se jo mana kar raha hai
Bade kifayat se jo khud ko aur ghar ko chala raha hai
Apne wardrobe mein aadha Bangalore Central liye jee raha hai
Phir bhi Bangalore Times mein Sale dhoond raha hai
Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

Jab woh apne Bombay trip(s) ke photos dikha raha hai
To har koi TV ki taraf dekh raha hai
Phir bhi enthu mein koi kami nahin la raha hai
Sone se pehle aur uthne ke baad jo dimaag ka dahi bana raha hai
Jab bhi photo-session ki baat karo to taiyar raha hai
Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

Woh iBar mein aate hi intellectual baatein kar raha hai
Uske aate hi 'Macha' aur 'Mamu' ka shor ho raha hai
Peg ready hai par phir bhi chai bana raha hai
Jo dollar ke weak hone pe sabse jyada dukhi ho raha hai
Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai

Woh din bhar gayab raha hai
Apni CBZ ko Bangalore mein ghuma raha hai
Raat ko ghar aane par deewar ke peeche chhup raha hai
Hamne poocha kyun to sharmaate hue Fosters ki do bottle nikal raha hai
Woh dekho iBar member ja raha hai


Gypsy. They call me 'Gypsy', soda with whiskey.